Hikers Freed by Iran Pretty Well Caught Up

CNN:

Safely back on American soil, freed Americans Josh Fattal and Shane Bauer on Sunday recounted their two years in “a world of lies and false hope” behind the walls of an Iranian prison.

I got a brazillion of ‘em, ha cha cha!

Hey, did you hear the UN is working round the clock to prevent Iran from saying “n*gger”?

*microphone feedback*

Testy, one, two three. Testy.

*golf clap*

Foxy Knoxy pretty much guaranteed Playboy spread.

*uncomfortable pause*

Okay: how about meeting America’s twin newly minted narcosyndicate princess citizens?

Speaking of princesses, Sinead O’Connor’s been back in the news telling supporters she’s not really going to kill herself, but she’s looking for a man:

Since a few days 44-year-old Sinead O’Connor has been posting rather disturbing tweets (just scroll through the list to find more than just a few). So disturbing that she has now been forced to issue a statement assuring fans that she won’t commit suicide and describing her Twitter messages as “a cry for help”.

In the statement O’Connor says: “I am not at all sorry that I wrote what I did on twitter. It was a cry for help and help was received. So it was worth it. I have no shame around the fact that I can be shot into suicidal feelings by certain people’s treatment of me. I am no different to any other person. (…) There is no shame in feeling suicidal. Nor in anyone knowing that wave passes over you sometimes. No one should be judged badly for however it is they choose to make their cry of help.”

O’Connor says being upset about the break-up of her marriage earlier this year as one of the things that got her down. People calling her crazy only made things worse so it seems. Looking back to the whole mayhem O’Connor refers to it as the ‘Buttf*ck-o-rama’, showing she still has a good sense of humor. One of her more recent tweets even said the following “Must announce boyfriend search very much still on. If any1 wants a suicidal tourettes ridden fat ugly lunatic with a big fat flappy fanny..”

Depression, it’s an ugly thing…

Uh . . . yeah.

Here’s some more of that sense of humor:

One-hit pop singer Sinead O’Connor has been treated like a dignitary on MSNBC by Rachel Maddow and promoted as a moralist by The Huffington Post in her recent and vicious attacks on the Catholic Church. Now, she’s not saying she’s holier than the Pope. She’s saying she’ll shoot him in a “f***in bloodbath.” Let’s hope Sinead hasn’t made any anti-bullying videos.

Irish Central reports her latest ouburst came on Twitter after a poll was carried out on whether Pope Benedict should visit Ireland. She warned that there would be a “f **kin bloodbath”. She tweeted “‘Young people of Ireland I love u’ said Sinead as she pulled the f ***ing trigger.”

`Young People of Ireland I love You” is the phrase made famous by Pope John Paul II when he came to Ireland in 1979. Sinead also wrote; “There’d be a f**kin bloodbath. Me meet the f **ker off the plane myself,” she added.

On her own website, the singer said these profane death threats were a misconstrued attempt at humor:

A newspaper in Ireland chose to report on saturday, as being serious, jocular remarks I made regarding shooting the pope if he comes to Ireland, when that paper knew very well these remarks were in jest. In the course of a conversation as to whether or not the Irish people would accept a visit from the pope… Which frankly, no. They fucking wouldn’t.

In case of any concern. I have no interest in shooting anyone whatsoever and I consider it naughty of the said paper to have put the slant they did on my remarks. I accept my remarks were public, but the context in which they were made was knowingly twisted by the paper to continue the ‘crazy Sinead’ business.

Rest assured.. Neither the pope will come to Ireland nor I will ever contemplate murdering anyone. God will take care of the pope.

There was more blather about how it’s “blasphemous” for the Church to claim to be Christ’s representatives on earth, and then some ridiculous language about how the church should be about love, not mockery. This, just after she hatefully wrote about causing a bloodbath, and then claiming it was only mockery?

Heh. She ended up looking like a nun.

I went to the doctor n’guess what he told me
Guess what he told me?
He said girl u better take your meds
No matter what you do
But he’s a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to shooting the Pope in a bloodbath hahaha

What do you mean, that’s not funny? That’s so hilarious, it makes Baby Jesus cry, by Baal. Go check out The Sundries Shack’s new look.

Share