Via Doug Powers at Michelle Malkin, comes the story of a Childhood Development Prof who has rewritten the Rankin-Bass Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, because Santa Claus and Comet bully the disabled flying quadruped. In his version, Santa has 10 policies that are unfair, and Mrs. Claus (because she’s a woman, and compassionate) has to intervene to fix this hostile workplace environment:
This effete ninny personifies everything that’s wrong with our academic culture. He’s accepted? He ought to be booted out on his ass.
Completely untouched by this analysis, apparently, is Hermie’s complete lack of dental accreditation and the fundamental cruelty of de-fanging a wild predator and using it for slave labor, the insult to female reindeer of being told that physically hazardous enterprises are men’s work, and the savage rapine of natural resources symbolized by Yukon Cornelius—to say nothing of the notorious exclusivity of King Moonracer.
And, oh, look: researchers tie creativity to capacity for rationalization, self-delusion. Nuts.
Apparently, things that never should happen and never did happen should not be depicted.
UPDATE: Thanks to Ace for the link. You can go over there and read the amusing comments.
Uncle Jefe on December 5, 2011 at 7:26 pm said:
I thought that by Rudolph showing Santa and Comet how his ‘disability’ was actually an advantage, the Rankin-Bass production was prescient.
They might as well have invented the term ‘differently-abled’.
Damn marxist professor…can’t see the forest for the trees.
Dan Collins on December 5, 2011 at 7:38 pm said:
It’s like X-Reindeer: Origins.
Starless on December 5, 2011 at 7:51 pm said:
Accepting the “differently-abled” (accompanied by a heart-warming story about overcoming odds) is out, running to teacher to tell on bullies is in.
dustydog on December 5, 2011 at 7:29 pm said:
I’m sure that guy hasn’t read any of the New Testament. A little find/replace of the words Jesus, Christ and Jew, send him the manuscript, tell him it is a break through hit, and ask him to deconstruct it.
Starless on December 5, 2011 at 7:46 pm said:
If only Rudolph had kicked Comet in the nads, Mrs. Claus could’ve had him up on charges of sexual harassment.
The Worm on December 5, 2011 at 9:22 pm said:
…and the effin’ Bumbles bouncing everywhere. Give the bastard a dose of Ritalin already…
Cheers
The Worm
jefferson101 on December 5, 2011 at 10:47 pm said:
Wow. We can go over to Ace’s place and read the amusing comments?
Hotay, Sir. Granted that most of us here don’t have the same sense of humor, but I’d like to think that we have one.
And you forget that I am from the region where we worry about Santa landing on Bubba’s trailer, because the patter of Reindeer feet would bring Bubba or his cousin Boudreaux outside with a Deer Rifle, and Santa would be at least one short.
But Budreaux would apologize to Santa, and tell him that there would be Venison Jerky on the table for him along with the milk and cookies come next Christmas.
And so it goes.
Dan Collins on December 5, 2011 at 10:58 pm said:
I’m very appreciative of our commenters here, you included.
Johnnie Obama on December 6, 2011 at 12:50 am said:
Professor, how can you be so ignorant and biased?
Rudolf is NOT accepted as a result of his disability being seen as useful and doing something extaordinary.
Rudolf realizes he cannot run away from his problems, so he comes home to face them like a man. What a great lesson in life! He puts his life at risk to save others. Everyone realizes they were wrong to treat him the way they did. They apologize and accept him for who he is. AFTER THAT the red nose/extraordinary angle comes in.
p.s. – funny thing is, the professor does make a good point within a stupid argument. My kids are grown up now, but it’s a Christmas tradition of ours to watch Rudolf and laugh about how ridiculous the characters are. Me and the wife laugh about how the Head Elf is the worst boss to work for (kinda like our jobs sometimes). Santa is a total jerk, dropkicking Rudolph to the curb (you’re effing SANTA CLAUS, how can you be such a d*ck?). Comet is the coach from Hell, I’m surprised the reindeer don’t gang up and beat him up. The North Pole is full of cruel a-holes. It’s so over-the-top, you have to laugh.
p.p.s. – When my son was seven, we were watching the Abominable chase the misfits, and he said, “Why doesn’t Yukon just pull out his gun and shoot him?” Huh. Uh, I never thought of that. Grownups can always learn something from children.
Dan Collins on December 6, 2011 at 1:40 am said:
More to the point, Santa and Comet and Donner all represent the men that boys want approval from, and their jerkiness represents how kids feel about not getting that approval. Santa’s a grouch. He’s short tempered because he takes his job so seriously. He’s especially pissy at Christmas when he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Comet and Donner are jocks. You don’t get to be on Santa’s team without being a stellar athlete. They act like jocks.
Hermie may want to be a dentist, but his big problem is that he’s gay. Some of the Misfit Toys also appear to be suffering from sexual confusion. Apparently, they have been created by elves who found them too defective to give to children for Christmas, but who nevertheless respect life enough not to do away with them.
Moonracer provides a social safety net, but thinks that these Misfit Toys have to be re-integrated as much as possible into society, because isolated as they are, their lives lack meaning.
Women are the only non-Misfits who aren’t douchebags. Santa runs a non-union shop that takes care of its employees, but values conformity. Yukon Cornelius is a start-up enterpreneur without a defined corporate culture. When Rudolph and Hermie return, Santa bends the rules, but at the same time, neither he nor Rudolph are such disaffected whiners, which is what the thumb-sucking professor seems to miss. In other words, it’s not fair that people, cartoon reindeer or elves have to grow up.
If only they could all be tenured.
Starless on December 6, 2011 at 8:39 am said:
Either this is a self-published book and/or the only thing this publisher has ever put out.
Also notable, IMO, is that this guy is a “special ed professor”–the two biggest money-sucks for school districts are transportation and special education. The next time your district comes begging with a referendum, blame this guy and his need to perpetuate and spread Orwellian pedagogy.