Over the Fourth of July,Taylor Swift was photographed hugging Patrick Schwarzenegger, Maria Shriver's son. But now it appears that Conor Kennedy, the son of Robert Kennedy Jr. and the late Mary Kennedy, is actually Taylor's love interest. He is pictured just to the right of Swift in the same photo – and the two have been spending lots of time together.
I for one think it's nice that Taylor Swift has decided to stoop down to hook up with a member of the woefully overlooked 'scrawny trust fund jerkweed' demographic. That's very sweet of her. If this relationship gets greater media attention, 'TayCon' will be the new 'Bennifer'.
But at least one man sees trouble a-brewin' with this new celebrity couple. Bob Belvedere, take it away.
Miss Swift: I am not a fan of your music, but what few songs I have heard seem rather entertaining. You’re a young woman with a great future ahead of you because you obviously have talent, good looks, and, by all accounts, a crackerjack personality. There’s so much you can accomplish creatively and, one hopes, spiritually. So please give a listen to an aging man who has lived in New England all his life where he has been surrounded by Kennedys since, literally, he was born in 1961:
Gather all of your things and RUN AWAY — get the Hell out of the Kennedy’s reach. Do it before they embrace you and subject you to the soul-crushing experience dozens of women before you have endured.
Read the whole thing. Right now.
In the 21st century, what exactly is the appeal of Clan Kennedy?
I dunno if I'm speaking out of school here, but it's not 1958. Everybody should understand by now that the Kennedy men have a deep abiding family tradition of using women like old gym socks. We have scads of books, interviews, documentaries and websites devoted to the subject. It's as much a part of our collective historical and cultural knowledge as Elvis Presley's drug use or Michael Jackson's intense weirdness or Jay-Z's massive ego. It's a very known thing.
Yet even with all that, there are still women who tempt fate and date Kennedy dudes.
One could make the argument that chicks flock to America's self-styled royal family because of the money and influence. Despite the fact that a lot of the luster has worn off the Kennedy name, it's still associated with wealth and political power by many people in the States. Even at this late date, being connected to the Kennedys grants a person access to the upper echelons of American life.
But knowing all that doesn't really excuse the women who hook up with Kennedy males. Even though Barack Obama has done his damnedest to weed out the evil 1 percenters from our land, there are still plenty of super-wealthy men in America to choose from. A lot of these guys have social and political connections that rival the Kennedy's power base. If you're a gal and you want to date rich dudes, you're not exactly limited to rammy alcoholic blowhard Irishmen from Taxachuessetts.
Hey, I could be way off here. This might just be a casual fling for Taylor Swift. Or the country music songbird and the son of Hyaniss Port aristocracy could live happily ever after. Or it could be a big nothingburger with a side order of rumor mill trimmings and half-truth special sauce.
Whatever. The Kennedy men are still prone to extreme dickbaggery when it comes to their female companions. Canoodle at your own risk, Taylor.
Oh yeah–here is the meme: