The Necropolitan Sentinel

Demographics will determine what happens next, assuming people aren't equipped with free will. Capitulating Republicans are panicking about getting people other than crackers to vote for them. Perhaps treating potential supporters as individuals instead of as monolithic groups based upon the most superficial characteristic possible would be a good start, unless they're determined to remain as the Slightly Less Democratic Party. At most, only one side should soullessly endorse skin tone-based coalitions to demand federally subsidized goodie bags.

Besides, preemptive panderers worry about the wrong characteristics: our political future will not be determined by ethnicity or birth years but by where people move to escape from the secondary level of liberal hassling. You have to put up with a confiscatory-minded president, but it's easy to choose to set up residence in a state that doesn't try to invent prosperity through its own income tax.

To the surprise of governors who are burdened with running their subjects' lives, Americans can shift state addresses while waiting for national deflation. Federalism is embodied by moving to an area code run by a party less hostile to those who have the nerve to profit handsomely by offering products or services. More people who tire of being demonized for being able to afford 90 percent lean ground beef will head to Red States until liberal governors make it illegal to cross state lines without promising to come back.

While Texas may not change its name to East California, the bustling cowboy state's relaxed and contrary nature allows them to attract many of the remaining talented people from a rapidly diminishing reservoir on the Pacific.

States that don't bother non-felons have voted themselves an advantage over America's mini-social democracies. And you can cross the border without a passport: people that relocate to bustling states tacitly decide that they recognize how ridiculously high property taxes don't offer anything approaching a good value on return.

Our decisions define us, not our ethnicity, as with the unfortunate number of voters who decided to define themselves by selecting a president based on his ethnicity. Still, people are not limited by their anatomy or the color of the flesh bag that holds everything inside. Rather, voluntary actions define personalities, including the rather weighty choice of where to live.

States saddled with oppressively progressive policies can't remain competitive for much longer. Liberals think they can exploit factions that they've conditioned to be resentful forever, but those despondently frail coalitions only last for as long as the targets enjoy being exploited.

Fed-up residents are already bailing on a double layer of liberalism. For one, the People's Republic of New York doesn't know how many more electoral votes they can lose on account of glaringly poor math skills.

By pure coincidence, a state run almost exclusively by liberals has seen its electoral votes decline from 47 in the mid-20th century to 29 today. Liberals are in the early process of losing a zero-sum presidential game: locked-up Democratic states are transferring their safes' contents to places that don't treat Medicaid as a reward for residency. It's as if people flee from intrusiveness, making it a broad example of how liberals are clueless about human responses to onerous conditions.

The nickname “Empire State” is now ironic, as New York's primary function is to serve as a time machine that shows us what the nation will be like after Obama's second term. There's bad news from Future Schenectady.

People naturally gravitate to places where they're not harassed for success. That's why drill-welcome North Dakota is growing at a rate where it could eventually poach an NFL team, like Los Angeles needs more competition. States that have enough sense to make use of what they're handed possess an unnatural advantage over frustrating entities that would rather worship environmentalists than turn on the lights.

It's not enough to realize Mother Gaia put energy underfoot: true Earth-lovers thank her for her gift by developing the ability, gumption, and lack of restrictions to remove it. Andrew Cuomo wants to make your life challenging because he thinks you think you can't head to Pennsylvania or beyond.

State leaders that are still convinced a century of progress has made the Earth uninhabitable would rather have the precious juice just uselessly remain underground. Some uncooperative stars on the flag would rather have jobs and energy, and it's clearly time for federal intervention.

It's unfair that certain regions have resources underfoot, so we have to mandate equal suffering by banning energy retrieval, including the impossibly amazing, life-improving process of fracking. Also, less fuel means people can't leave depressed and depressing Blue States on account of fittingly empty tanks.

Republicans who treat people of different backgrounds like sideshow curiosities are fretting about attracting people less pasty than Conan O'Brien to the party. But outreach is easy: tell people about the option to be responsible enough to own their own things, and make sure to emphasize they won't have to settle for a weekly pittance dispensed by a congressman who assumes you elected him to address your needs. That was simple, although my consultant fee remains staggeringly high. There's no tailoring to people of different complexions or genitalia necessary.

Reality makes the case easier. Four more years of soul-shaking poverty will sadly help make people appreciate the possibility of limited federal interdiction. Humanity may seek a temporary relapse from maturity by relying on free goodies, but the ability to profit supersedes ultimately detrimental benefits.

The best case for life as something more than an attempt to mimic a particularly passive sponge lies in competent Republican governors who will let you earn checks instead of demanding them from you. Those fleeing welfare states should promise to bring pizza to new lands where the lack of irritants feels like freedom. Or more of us could just vote better. Until then, people here will just wonder why misery abounds. Maybe raising the sales tax will lead to joy.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. He tweets at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy.

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