I don’t care if Afghanistan is poor, miserable, or corrupt. I also don’t care if it seethes with jealousy aimed at civilizations advanced enough to reside in caves, makes Third World dwellers sigh with relief by comparison, or shows what life was like in the year 7.
All I care is that they’re not letting diabolical people who want to slaughter as many of us as possible stay there. Otherwise, they can keep their goat-based economy intact. I am open-minded about the cultures of my fellow passengers on Spaceship Earth in that way.
But crushing that threat remains an unfinished task. That sadly doesn’t make a difference to amateur golfer and occasional president Barack Obama, who doesn’t seem to have considered what removing 10,000 troops means for the troops who remain behind. All we know is that there will be fewer American service personnel in Afghanistan who know what they’re supposed to be doing.
War Rule Number One should be to always agree with David Petraeus. But Obama doesn’t particularly care for what generals have to say. If they really cared about America, they would have organized communities instead of fighting imperialistic wars against the poor on behalf of corporations. After all, the military is funded by the Koch brothers. Who do you think is paying all the Defense Department-funding income taxes in this country?
Maybe we’re semi-bailing because we’re two and a half years into the Everyone Adoring Us Era. Yet Kabul is reeling from its most recent murderous attack by monsters, presumably from people who still haven’t learned about Obama’s coolness. Cut them some slack: news travels slowly there, especially since Afghanistan’s computer broke down.
Still, maybe we should worry that evil humans will dislike us no matter who our president is. The commander in chief’s nonchalance isn’t helping.
Obama has become an alienation expert. When it comes to the war he supposedly cared about, he’s trying to sneak out as many soldiers as possible before he has to run for reelection. His greatest accomplishment is proving that cynicism can be accurate.
We don’t need to build nations to stop terrorism. Lots of this world’s bordered hellholes don’t harbor international terrorists. All we have to worry about is ensuring that those residing on this planet’s skid row are aware that we will make their homelands even crappier than they already are if they harbor dastards who attempt to strike us.
It’s time to learn that we don’t have to repeat history, especially by empty comparisons to notable erstwhile villains. For heaven’s sake: always remember that we’re not the Soviets.
For one, we didn’t get whooped into oblivion by Ronald Reagan. More importantly, we don’t screw up every single thing we try in the fantastic manner that they did. Call it the Chernobyl Effect.
Most crucially, we have different goal in Afghanistan than the emblematic commie jerks. While we’re trying to make the world safe for freedom, their mission was to expand the dominance of government in their dumb Soviet way. Such an interpretation relies upon accepting that Brezhnev had a bad idea, which I am willing to make even if it means I will never get to host an hour on MSNBC.
Noble goals aside, Obama thinks he’s on the cusp of getting this war to obey to his Keynesian will. This administration is out to manage combat the same way they hilariously think they can manage the economy.
To them, Afghanistan is the GM of wars. The difference in this situation is that we’re all in trouble if they don’t succeed, including union workers.
If the White House just gets as many Ivy League guys in the same room at once as possible, they’re bound to conjure a workable solution, right? Or maybe they’ll again illustrate the difference between diploma smarts and common sense.
The problem with Obama-initiated or -governed wars is that nobody knows what we’re doing or where we’re going. It’s confusing to them, as they feel that all their diplomas imply that they can run everything.
The improvisation-based administration has put forth no mission definition. Are we focusing on eliminating terrorists or building proverbial roads and schools? Someone should determine whether the goal is to win hearts and minds or put bullets and missiles into the hearts and minds of those who continue to scheme against us.
The result of not knowing what we’re doing is not knowing when we’re winning. Wars don’t have predetermined end dates. But Obama wants to plan its denouement as if it were a graduation party. He couldn’t even manage to get people off the patio by midnight.
As the tour brochures and Travel Channel documentaries always emphasize, Afghans adore their supremely primitive lifestyle. It’s their problem if that’s how they want to live, just like how they can keep sticking with their two industries of opium and dirt. It’s not a land of contrasts.
But we’re worried about who resides in the dump, not its contents. Rather, we were. We’re beginning to end the war without concern for whether we’ll win it. As a result, our military members are in greater danger than they were before the reduction was announced. Oh, and so are the rest of us.
Wait: making us safer was the war’s goal. Someone should really scribble it on a Post-it and stick it in the Oval Office somewhere.
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. He tweets at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy.
Cross-posted at http://punditleague.us